Lapis' Path to Isolation
by TalkingSalad12
Summary: another 77.7 station fic. Lapis is on the moon trying to decide between her heart and mind, until she accidentally knocks over her radio. One-shot


Lapis' Path to Isolation

Lapis sat on the barn, looking up at the Earth. Once again she was drawn to the planet. After Steven said he had a dream about the Diamonds she tried to leave again, but then she came back. She didn't know why.

She knew it was foolish. The Diamonds were stronger, powerful, supreme gems. If they found her she would be shattered. Her mind knew it was foolish to stay, to come back, but every time she left, her chest would ache. That ache only grew more and more the further she got away, she would remember all the happy times she had with Steven and Peridot. But she also remembered being imprisoned in a mirror. Being forced to lead Jasper to Earth, and then forced to fuse with Jasper.

Lapis had strong feelings about Earth, both bad and good. Those feelings and memories were so strong. It was like there were two strong forces grabbing her arms, one pulling her towards space, the other towards Earth. They were so strong, it felt like her being, gem and all were going to be torn apart.

"I can't stay here," she said out loud.

_I don't want to leave._

"If I stay here I'll die," she said out loud, trying to silence the voice that was compelling her to stay.

_Steven and Peridot will die if I go._

"I can't stay here," she repeated going inside the barn, "I'll get shattered and then lose everything, it will be lonely but at least I'll live."

_I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!_

Lapis closed her eyes and held her head, "Stop it." She walked into a table and some things got knocked over.

"Oh no," she quickly got down and began to pick things up, "Luckily the Earth built objects weren't damaged by the moons gravity. She started to place things back on the table, then her hands went to a radio, she hoped it wasn't broken, it wouldn't work in space since she was to far from a radio tower but she still wanted to see if it worked, Steven gave it to her. Her thumb accidentally turned the dial, until it landed on 77.7. When she hit the power button, static came through. Technically there was no air so sound didn't exist, if she was human. Her body could pick vibrations, so she could hear the static.

She sighed in relief when she realized she didn't break it. She was about to turn it off when…

**The Path of Isolation**

"What?" Were did the transmission come from? Lapis didn't have time to think about it, when a song began to play.

_It starts with the unexpected loss_

_Of something dear_

_The warmth_

_That comforted and cradled just disappears~_

That seemed sad, but Lapis could relate. While the Diamonds weren't warm, having a role, direction was comforting, and for no reason she lost it.

_And in it's place there's nothing_

_Just an endless empty hole_

_The light that showed the way is gone_

_And darkness takes control_

_Bitterness and anger are quick to fill the void_

_The path to isolation is littered with the dreams that lay destroyed_

"Isolation." Yep described her situation well. The tempo started to pick up, the song started to feel like a battle.

_The cold _

_Seems to grow in my soul_

_Its consuming me_

_Confused_

_And I'm losing myself in a storm_

Lapis started to think back to when she was first released. That was supposed to be the happiest memory, but it wasn't.

_Growing jaded_

_Being pushed_

_Being pulled_

_I'm unravelling _

_Can't find myself when I'm constantly forced to conform_

Steven was the only one who talked to her, but she hurt him. The Crystal Gems, started the war. She didn't align herself with them. She didn't want to hurt Steven, but she was afraid, angry, and still loyal to Homeworld.

_Enemies surround me_

_But the worst appear as friends_

_Liars and pretenders _

_Only seek to reach their end_

Jasper. She forced her to take her to Earth, forced her to put Steven in danger, forced her into a fusion she never wanted. It made Lapis hate the thought of fusing, even though she saw how happy Garnet was.

_Everything is breaking_

_Right before my eyes_

_Looking in the mirror_

_I see someone that I don't recognize_

Lapis flinched at the word 'mirror,' but didn't drop the radio.

_The joy_

_That my heart used to know is eluding me_

_Removed _

_And the one thing I feel is alone._

Lapis did feel joy on Earth, but not anymore. She lost it after she removed herself.

_Smile's faded_

_And I'm spinning and sinking_

_I'm weakening._

She remembered when she left. The sad look on Steven's face, the hurt and abandonment in Peridot's eyes. She wanted them to smile.

_Frozen in solitude_

_Loneliness chills to the bone_

Real cold didn't bother her. But the loneliness did make her feel, petrified.

_Memories escaping_

_As my heart begins to drain_

_Scars that cover wounds_

_Can't hide the self-inflicted pain_

_Everything my mind wants_

_In conflict with my heart_

_Fighting back surrender but everyday I'm falling more apart~_

The voice that told her to stay, while her mind told her to flee. They were driving her crazy, it was as if, her gem was still whole, but was cracking, breaking. It hurt so much.

_Mirror what's this thing I see?_

_Who is staring back at me?_

_A stranger to my heart has filled my mind~_

Lapis began to look at one of the mirrors. The gem staring back was broken and crying. And a voice inside her sung in harmony with the last verse of the song?

_Mirror~_

_Help me~_

_Who Am I~?_

The song ended, but Lapis barely noticed as she stared at the mirror. Who was she? She wasn't the loyal homeworld gem anymore, and she wasn't acting like a crystal gem, and she wasn't acting like a friend either.

She stood up, placed the radio on the table and looked back up at Earth and gasped. Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond's ships were flying towards Earth. The first thing she thought of, was Steven and Peridot. What was going to happen to them.

Her mind told her to run, but seeing the arms just ignore her, a new fear gripped her gem. What if Steven did die? What if Peridot did get shattered? She couldn't live if she ran and never knew those answers. She knew that.

She was terrified. Paralyzed with fear, she forced her mind towards Steven and Peridot.

_I believe we can win, I believe you can win._

_ What if something good happens?_

She gripped herself.

_Run._

"Shut up."

_Run!_

"Shut up!"

_RUN!_

"SHUT UP!"

Lapis' wings shot forth and water scooped up the barn as Lapis began to fly towards Earth. She wasn't going to live like this anymore. Her pain, would end one way or another that night! Be it shattering, or victory and getting a happily ever after. Her gem, her heart, would win!

**I always thought Lapis would best fit a Weiss song. Most of Weiss's song's are about mirrors. And Lapis was stuck in a mirror.**


End file.
